Dispatches : BostonCube

	31 Mar '03, One Night in Bangkok
Or to give the city it's full name in Thai, Krungthep mahanakhon amon ratanakosin mahintara ayuthaya mahadilok popnopparat ratchathani burirom udomratchaniwet mahasathan amonpiman avatansathit sakkathattiya witsanukamprasit. Which translates as Great City of Angels, Repository of Divine Gems, Great Land Unconquerable, Grand and Prominent Realm, Royal and Delightful Capital City Full of Nine Noble Gems, Highest Royal Dwelling and Grand Palace, Divine Shelter and Living Place of Reincarnated Spirits. This is normally shortened to Krung Thep, or City of Angels. It goes without saying that the food in Thailand is fantastic. In most towns you will find expensive (by Thai standards) restaurants that cater to tourists as well as cheaper backpacker eateries. But to really experience authentic Thai cuisine, then do as the locals do and graze from the hundreds of cafes, street vendors and market stalls. For some reason this seems to scare a lot of people away and it's not something I would do at home, but if it looks as good as your own kitchen (be honest now!) and the food is cooked fresh in front of you while you wait, then you'll be fine. And you won't find anything more authentic. If only the same could be said for the beer. Singha is probably the best of the local brews, but that's nothing to be proud of. I have to admit that I've fallen back to drinking that well known Thai beer, Heineken. Brewed under licence it's fairly close to the original and when served ice cold on a typical hot and humid afternoon it certainly takes you several steps along the road to enlightenment. What's that? Wat. That! Wat. And so on in the best traditions of low budget American comedy. Everywhere you look in Bangkok you'll probably see at least one temple or Wat, along with at their chedi or jedi (where do you think George got the name from?). Most of them are also open to visitors although you are expected to be behave dress appropriately, with covered shoulders and long trousers although you can usually borrow appropriate attire. For transport around Bangkok then you can't beat the tuk-tuk for sheer motoring fun. Basically a three-wheeled moped with enough space for two sitting in the back with the lunatic driver up front, they are probably the fastest way to get around the city. Also the least comfortable and not exactly the safest either. But they are cheap especially if you allow yourself to be taken to all the shops that give the driver a commission this can work out as a great way to see the back streets of the city at an hourly rate that wouldn't even buy you a beer. Alternatively there are taxis and air-conditioned buses if you want to sit in a traffic jam for a while. No visit to Bangkok would be complete with a visit to the infamous Patpong district in all its seedy glory. The night market is a good place to buy tourist trinkets and portable electronics but the main reason most people come here is for the go-go bars. I went with a mixed group of Dutch backpackers who wanted to see how it compared with Amsterdam, and I don't think they were overly impressed either. Alongside the market there are a few bars that make an effort to show they're on the level if all you want is a drink in the main bar, but if you want to see a special show or some negotiable affection then good luck to you and your wallet. One of the better tours you can do in the city, especially if you can get a group together, is to take a long-tail boat trip around the canals. The boats are not much more than a long wooden canoe with a plastic awning (designed to funnel rain into the boat) propelled by a truck engine with a long propeller shaft bolted onto it. The whole thing is mounted on a pivot and the driver steers the boat by moving the whole assembly around. The look like they've been bodged together in a backyard tool shed and reliability is about what you would expect. But they can be very, very quick in a straight line.
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